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Don't try and suppress your fears, but express them openly instead. You may find that accepting the anxiety and just going
with the experience actually reduces your sense of panic. Fighting anxiety tends to add fuel to the fire. Keep in mind that
you're not dealing with a life-or-death situation, even though it might feel like that right now - the reality is that you're
free to leave anytime should you not feel comfortable with the situation.
It's OK to be bawling your eyes out or to be shaking like a leaf - if a dentist reacts negatively, at least you'll know
it's not the right one for you. It may help you to put yourself into the dentist's shoes - how would you react if someone
who's clearly extremely frightened and upset arrived in your practice? I'd like to think with compassion and understanding.
If you should be unfortunate enough to meet a dentist who is clearly unsympathetic or even thinks it funny, run! There are
tons of dentists out there who treat people the way they would like to be treated themselves.
Again - remember, you're the customer! Some people feel that "no dentist will want to treat me because I'm difficult"
- and upon closer questioning, will describe their "being difficult" as simply being too scared to behave like the
"normal" dental client. Frequently, dental phobia sufferers are under the impression that they have to "please"
dentists by playing "the perfect patient". Not so! I don't condone aggressive behaviour, but you're perfectly entitled
to have a panic attack, cry, or whatever takes your fancy - after all, you are paying for the service (either directly or
indirectly).
Please refrain from aggressive behaviour - I've come across posts in the past which might suggest that aggression is a
reasonably common response, but having talked to quite a few specialists in the area, it would appear that aggressive behaviour
is extremely uncommon. The more common pattern is one of overcompliance coupled with a reluctance to communicate your needs
- a frustrating experience for both dental phobia sufferers and (willing) dentists. So - communicate! The communication doesn't
have to be verbal, almost anything will do as long as you don't simply freeze. If you have a tendency to freeze, make sure
you've got everything you want to communicate to your dentist written out. And if you're an "extreme case" and you're
not even sure you can hand this written communication to your dentist, make sure they get it beforehand (by e-mail, get a
confirmation before you go in, or by letter, again make sure they've seen it).
Dentists are not mind-readers - and the most common complaint from dentists regarding phobic patients is that they won't
let them know what they're scared of, or when they're feeling scared. I've come across some of the most caring, nicest dentists
around and the main reason why they find phobic patients stressful is that they won't let them know what's going on in their
heads. So - whenever there's something you're worried or fearful about, no matter how mundane, please let your dentist know
about it. Your dentist cannot put your fears at rest unless s/he knows what your fears are!
If your main worry is having a panic attack during dental treatment, please read our page on fear of loss of control during dental treatment. You can practice a pre-agreed stop signal with your dentist which you can use when you feel the first signs of getting upset,
and take a break to calm down. If you feel unable to give a stop signal, you can work out another way, together with your
dentist, by which s/he will recognize when you need a break.
If you'd like to learn more about panic and panic attacks, and how to stop them, check out the panic course links on our Anxiety
Links page: Free "Get Rid of Panic Attacks" courses. Alternatively, especially if you suffer with panic attacks or agoraphobia more generally, it can be a good idea to enlist
the services of a therapist - for more info, see the How to select a therapist or counsellor page.
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